being still

I hadn't chosen a word for this New Year to focus on like I did for twenty-thirteen but I had found a scripture I wanted to focus on for our family as we prepare to move cross country. 

"Don't be afraid, for I am with you. Don't be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand." 

Isaiah 41-10

It was just what I needed for comfort and as a reminder of where to keep my focus when I start to panic about all the upcoming changes we are about to endure. 

Then something started happening. A stirring in my heart if you will. 

You see I have started to get overwhelmed with the idea of leaving all of my friends and family in just a few short months. Moving from the only state I've ever called home and making Tennessee our new home has officially made me look at my calendar differently.

Out of old habits and my old way of thinking I wanted to start filling up every single day with something to do. Busy my life with day trips and play dates. Disney trips, beach trips and visiting all my friends I soon won't have near by.

In my haste to fill my calendar with To-do's I immediately thought of the scripture that reads "Be still and know that I am God"

I remembered how up until a few years ago, much of my life I have spent filling my days with things to do and people to see. I didn't have time to ever be still with my thoughts nor let God fully in to do a work on my heart. I didn't want to think about my hurts or heartaches. I didn't want to deal with the bigger issues I had once not dealt with and so I naturally learned to suppress all those yucky feelings by making sure I didn't have time to think about them.

In the past couple of years that has changed. God has helped to reframe my mind and transform my heart. I learned that being still didn't mean I was being inactive but instead becoming more active in my walk and my faith. 

The less I was still, the less time there was for God. 

By being still I was making room for Jesus. It helped me to let go, and relax more.

My life is very busy and so I learned that not only is it hard to be still but it is hard to make time to be still.

The very thought of being still goes against what we naturally and culturally do. It is something you have to choose to do.

This past week has been beautiful and sunny here in California. We have frequented the beach a few times and have just made sure to be outside soaking up the sun's rays of goodness every single day.

I will be honest. It has made the thought of moving much harder and my heart ache a bit more.

After one of our beach days, while the babes were sleeping I sat in my stitching chair. The smell of sunscreen permeated our home as I watched the suns beams shine through the windows and dance along our walls.

My chair had been warmed from the thoughtful sun.

I sat and I stitched. 

I stitched and I prayed. 

I prayed and I wept…

In all of it I realized though my heart is aching, I'm still very much excited about this next chapter in our lives. 

I have a such a peace about moving and starting a new life. 

I knew in that moment as tears streamed off my cheeks and onto my lap that I did in fact have a word for this year.

Still

I need to Be Still.

There is so much about to happen in the next few months that will drastically change our lives and I know that He is God and He is bigger than it all. I just need to Be Still and let Him take charge.

It is so easy to get caught up in the busyness of it all. The gutting out, the packing up, the moving on. So having this word to focus on when I start to feel anxious or overwhelmed will be a perfect way to take my eyes off of myself and back up to Him. 

I want to go out with a bang and not be an emotional basket case the next few months.

I want the babes to have the sweetest of memories with their friends and family before moving on to make new memories in a new place.

I want to set an example of peacefulness in our home but also set the tone for it as we start new beginnings.

I want to face these issues head on, with a happy heart knowing God's in control so the kids feel safe and secure and rested assured in His promises as well. 

The only way that's possible is for me to take time to Be Still. 

With that being said I'm looking forward to what the next few months have in store but also challenged to make sure I make it a priority to hit the brakes even on the days I feel like accelerating full speed ahead.