I often forget about those emotions and feelings that are hid deep, the ones you didn't even know were so tender until something happens and you instantly feel a tug on your heartstrings that make you weep that very instant.
This happens to me... a lot.
If you know Elsie or have followed my blog for awhile you know she is shy. Well, shy isn't the right word. She is very reserved towards other people and only opens up to those she is comfortable with. There was a good year or so she'd cry if you would even talk to her, she still does that sometimes.
I couldn't relate. I have always been outgoing, so in the past it made me sad that she has this fear about people or is just so uncertain about everyone. It used to make me feel as if I wasn't making her feel safe or that I was doing something wrong but have learned over her three short years, it's just who she is. She is shy, and those she gets to know and the ones she loves, she loves so fiercely it makes my heart bursts at the seams.
This morning Elsie helped me decorate the house for a belated birthday celebration for our friends. I felt like having lots of treats so I made it a semi-tea party which was only an excuse to have everyone dress up.(that just means the littles were all in tutus and the mamas in dresses)
Once everything was set up and Elsie had her tutu and wings on I finished getting ready while the babes played in the sunroom. When I walked out I found Elsie at the front window...
"What are you doing sweet girl" I asked.
"I'm waiting for my friends mama, I'm so excited to see them."
my heartstrings were tugged and I walked away with tears streaming down my face as I searched for the camera.
This may seem so small to many of you but for me this was something that I have been praying over for years.
Countless playdates canceled, cut short or just not fun because Elsie didn't do well. Years of getting her to "enjoy" going to church because she was terrified going into her class, which ultimately left us sitting in overflow with a toddler.
So many awkward moments with other moms when they would say things like "maybe you should get her out more or sign her up for an activity outside of the home" when I knew that "getting her out more" wasn't an issue, nor was anything even wrong with her. We knew it was who she was, her sweet tender-hearted spirit didn't need to be forced or trained into something and that it was okay and prayerfully one day she might actually want to play with friends her age.
Then today, oh what a wonderful day to watch her squeal when she heard her friends coming up the driveway and how she ran and hid, only to have them find her so she could jump out and yell "SURPRISE"
She was so excited to play that she ran into her room and grabbed a Minnie Mouse for her and one for her little friend to play with.
I was just soaking it all in. I love watching her blossom into the little lady that she is becoming.
Though she wanted to work on her puzzles alone and do her own thing for a portion of the day , the fact that she stayed in the same room to play instead of hermit crab her way into her room where she would normally read quietly by herself, I'd say we have made progress and definitely made this a day for me to cherish.
Now as I have time to sit and write and reflect, I can't help but get choked up looking at these pictures of my tiny dancer staring out the window waiting for her friends.
She is just so precious, and has no idea how much she blessed her mama today.