Within seconds of looking at these pictures I felt my heart leap and the feelings that I felt that day consumed me.
We were so happy, light hearted, so full of joy of what was to come. We had few cares and were ready for what God had in store for us. I can remember how excited I felt.
I can also remember that just around this same time I was gifted a prenatal massage. The masseuse who gave me my massage had said she had never gave a massage to someone who had not one tension or stress to rid of. She said I was so calm and my body reflected that I was in such state of peace.
Those were some awesome statements to hear. It was so true. I had so much free time then because I was no longer working and can remember having lots of quiet time with the Lord. My heart was filled with thoughts of Him and can remember how different I felt.
The thoughts of those words from the masseuse then are very different from the ones from my visit last week at the chiropractor. My neck had been out of whack and so after our lil' family vacay in Big Bear I thought I'd get adjusted. My doctor said my neck was so tight that he recommended me getting a massage to loosen things up a bit.
There was not one moment of that massage that I enjoyed. It hurt so bad and I could feel she was trying really hard not to hurt me as she worked out all the tension. I remember at one point asking "am I the only one sweating?"... ya, it was bad.
Before she left the room for me to dress she turned and said, you are one of the happiest girls that comes through this office and we just love your spirit when you come for your adjustments. (awww, I thought but my smile from those words quickly faded when she continued on to say...) Your tension was a shock to me because you seem like the least stressed person. You need to relax and take care of your self more. She also told me I would need at least three more sessions to work all of it out because there was just too much.
It's funny really. How silly and stubborn I can be. I thought I was feeling at peace. I've been so full of joy. I have been so blessed by so many amazing opportunities recently that I had no idea how stressed I really was. Or maybe I did but was choosing not to acknowledge it and tried to be the super woman I'm not, trying to act like I was handling everything with grace even though I was really freaking out inside.
So I stopped and prayed. A real true "God take all of my thoughts captive and lift my burdens. I'm casting my cares onto you because obviously there are too many for me to handle" type of prayer.
And in that moment I felt a shift.
Different. Lighter. At peace again.
I have been so happy yet weighed down.
So many thoughts.
So many decisions.
So many orders from the shop.
So many blog things to handle.
So many mommy things to take care of.
So many events coming up that I need to plan for.
So many fun things, yet there are just so many of them swimming around in my head clouding my thoughts and ultimately distracting me of what is really important.
With a mind racing about a million things how am I to stop and hear what God has for me when I do my devotions.
How am I to fully enjoy my time with my kids when I'm thinking about all the other things I need to handle.
How am I to do anything well if I'm trying to handle it all, all the time.
I want my body and heart to not ache or be weighed down. I want my smile and personality to be a true reflection of my Joy and Hope in Jesus.
"Cast your cares onto the Lord and he will sustain you, he will never let the righteous fall" Psalm 55:22
Do you ever feel like this? So happy yet weighed down and you can't figure out why? Cast your cares upon the Lord sweet friend and he will take care of them for you.
Happy Friday! Make the weekend a great one!
linking up with Alissa this week.