This was one of those weekends that warranted one more day before the week begins. Nothing crazy, just another weekend packed with family goodness but with that good also came some challenges.
Not sure if it was the ice cream we had from an Old Fashioned Soda fountain earlier on Friday night or what, but we could not get Elsie to go to sleep. It was okay at first because she was making us laugh and helping us clean up the living room but once nine o' clock rolled around I had to make her go to bed. Only to lay down with her and hold her until she stopped screaming for what seemed like hours though it really wasn't, and after she finally calmed down she asked me to pray for her that God would protect her from the monsters.
that lead into a long discussion about monsters not being real and that God is bigger than anything,
He would keep her safe.
I was exhausted afterward and wanted to hit the sheets but needed to finish up some orders and sit and talk with Micah about our plan for the rest of our open weekend.
We planned on waking up and heading to the Queen Bee Market in Carlsbad only for the babes to wake up way too early especially after going to bed way too late. We had three melt downs from both before the clock even struck eight am and that's when the doorbell rang.
The one we rescheduled twice for our sinks that are continually backing up due to old corroded never been replaced pipes from the 1950's!
So we decided to all head back to bed while he worked under the house and all slept til around ten.
It helped and we didn't feel so... frazzled after getting a few extra zzzzz's. So we loaded up the car and headed to the craft fair.
Elsie was so excited but the minute we walked in, like the MINUTE we walked through the doors to get our shopping on, she sits on the floor and demands her blankie and says she wants to go home.
How do you explain to a three year old that we just drove an hour, because of traffic and that we were going to walk around whether she liked it or not.
Well you don't. You have to bottle up all your frustration because you're not angry at her, your tired too, and hungry and understand why she doesn't want to be there and well you just say
"Elsie, I know your tired and so is mommy, let's go to the bathroom and go potty and then come back and shop for a few minutes and then we'll go get something yummy to eat and possibly go to the beach"
So you try again, only for her to sit back down on the floor and her tell you her shoes are hurting and that she wants you to hold her.
Something was off.
You can sense it, but your patience grows thin as both you and your hubs are manning a toddling little man who is literally pulling down displays all the while trying to handle your three year old who just seems to think life is miserable at the moment, while trying to remain cool and calm and try to shop in between.
We quickly purchase our items and just decide to head home.
they both fall asleep and both Micah and I wish we could do the same.
It's only 2:30 and Micah still wants to go do something because let's face it, the family day we envisioned with shopping, eating and then playing on the beach didn't quite pan out.
So we stop in Newport on the way home for an early dinner and some walking around.
But then it's one thing after another with the littles and we are just calling it a day.
Which was okay.
we were trying to make a magical day happen but it just wasn't going to.
I was happy to just be in our home. together. all of us. fussy or not.
Then Elsie was up late again.
which lead to the same pattern of tears and frustrations from her today.
even at church, she didn't want to go and we haven't dealt with those apples since last year. When she would cry every. single. time
and I'd go get her because I couldn't stand the thought of her being in there scared
and how she was afraid and shy and never played with the other kids
but we're so far beyond that and she has grown so much and yet now she was pleading not to go in.
but then her fave teacher came to hold her, she calmed down but it still broke my heart and I prayed for her little soul throughout the whole service.
all day it felt like I was biting my tongue, and practicing patience and feeling defeated as a momma but then I would think of the scripture I read Friday during my Soul Detox devotion.
It was 2 Timothy 1: 7 " God did not give us a spirit of fear, but a spirit of power, of love, and of self-discipline."
Man have those truths helped me get through this weekend. You can't help feel like you're failing when you hear yourself saying the same thing, like your a vinyl record and the needle gets stuck so you're saying the same lines repeatedly until you want to scream
"be sweet to your brother Elsie"
"We don't talk ugly, we ask sweetly"
"Don't talk to your daddy that way"
"Don't say no to mama"
"get off the dirty floor please"
"Vernon be gentle"
"Vernon don't touch that"
"Vernon what's in your mouth, please give it to mama"
over and over and over.
But then I kept hearing God speak to me, "remember, I Gave you the spirit of power and love. You need to be self-disciplined, you can do this"
Though I'm exhausted from the weekend, because let's face it, these type of things are just emotionally draining. You're like in this constant battle of the wills.
your own and your child's.
but God is good.
Sometimes some days are hard but God is still good and my family is still the best blessing.
And I'm learning that it's times like these that I'm growing and learning and so are my babies. I'm so grateful for this time in my life and the person God is forming not only me but my children to be and when you stand back and look at the bigger picture what a gift it is to be part of that.
plus we roasted s'mores while being serenaded by good ol' Hank Williams and Patsy Cline.
If that doesn't scream goodness I don't know what does.
Now I'm off to soak up some more of my She Reads Truth, Day 18 because it has proven to be so applicable these past couple of weeks and the scriptures that I have studied have been exactly what this mama has needed.