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My own Wonderland

I feel that is what I'm in at the moment, a wonderland. As though I'm falling through this tunnel and can't focus on one thing because so many things are passing by at once. As most of you know we have been preparing to move. We went and looked at houses on Friday and found two we absolutely love and both are 20 minutes or less from Micah's work. We're praying for God's wisdom in the decision of them and already feel the pull towards one more than the other. Well today we found out that our 30 day escrow starts tomorrow and we will hopefully be moving into one of the two houses. We are thrilled. God is so amazing! I wasn't expecting this to happen so soon, I mean I thought it could happen and even hoped it would but now that it is actually happening it seems surreal. I cried on and off all day. Tears of joy at first, I was just overwhelmed by God's faithfulness and goodness and taking what seemed to be an impossible situation (considering the economy and our circumstance) and making it possible.
Then I felt excited and skipped and rejoiced aloud while awaiting Micah's phone call so we could celebrate over the phone together (mind you he sent me the news about the escrow happening via text due to the meeting he was in)
Then I was struck with sadness, not like a deep sorrowful sadness but a sadness I can't explain. This home, our first home, where we made it our very own, where we started our family, is now going to be stored up into hundreds of memories and images on my iphoto application. It isn't the thought of leaving this home that made me sad because I know wherever we are as a family we will make it our home, it's knowing that our neighboring situation will never be the same. We will never have another Quiggle/Ensor dynamic again. This was a once in a life time occurrence I'm sure. Well at least here on earth. I wonder if in heaven every surrounding house near you is one that you can just walk into as if it's your own, if you need to borrow something or if you just need to sit and chat or well you get the point.
As excited as we are to move and as excited as the Q's are for us, we all know that this fabulous situation we were blessed with is soon coming to an end. Sure we will hang out and remain close friends, I mean it's not like we are leaving the country... it just won't ever be what it is and we know it.
I was scrolling through pictures of all of us and realized how much we have done together and what a significant part of our lives they have been. I also noticed how much less we saw each other this past year. The photos weren't as abundant in the 2009 slides, which made me cry even harder. Not because of us hanging out less but because God is so awesome. He knows our hearts and knew this move was on the horizon which is why it is so clear now of God's timing and his plan. We weren't trying to conceive when we found out I was preggo with Elsie. Even though we were ecstatic and have been thoroughly blessed with her I see now that God put her in our lives to slowly draw us away from the family we created w/ the Q's for the soul purpose of drawing us closer to him with the new family He has created. She has consumed us and priorities have shifted, schedules have changed which in return means less of all of us and more of just us. I was saddened by this change and felt it happening last year, but God is so good I see now what he was doing. He was preparing our hearts. Much prayer has gone into this move. Not knowing why we felt the stir in our hearts and still not knowing his reason for us moving, besides a better quality in our family life with having Micah home more and him not having an hour commute. I've never been more reassured by anything than I am in God's truth in this moment. I have no idea what he has in store for us but I'm excited and ready to be a willing vessel.
I love the Q's and can't praise God enough for bringing us together, this is such a rare friendship which we all know is a lifelong friendship.
I didn't realize that was going to pour out of me, but now that I've typed it and contemplating (twice) on deleting it, I have decided to leave it here and share it with all of you.
So in the midst of all this I am dealing with these new mommy emotions of leaving Elsie while Micah and I fly to Cancun, we will be gone for three nights. Mind you I have never left her overnight so just the thought of three nights just makes me sick to my stomach. Although I must admit I'm excited to go on this trip and relax with Micah while soaking up the sun, it doesn't change the fact that I will miss my little Pearl like crazy. So I covet all of your prayers this week that I may be able to enjoy my time with my precious husband and that Elsie will be OK while staying with my folks.
So now here we are ready to go on this trip and pulling our clothes out to pack and all I can think about is packing up this house for our move. Oh be still my heart.
btw Elsie's top teeth are coming in and she is trying to walk. See what I mean about so many things happening at once.
For the record I'm not complaining. I am so blessed in my life right now. I'm ready for what God has for me.

Col 3:15 "And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful."

As for this past weekend, my dear friend Jenn had a birthday tea thrown in her honor and I, being inspired by the new Alice in Wonderland movie made my own dress. It was a lovely tea, with yummy treats. They even had a craft station where they had materials to make our own headbands. So clever. I loved it.
After the tea I went over to meet up with Micah at Nat's fiances' house (Mike) for a BBQ because Tricia came down for a visit and it was thought to be the perfect setting for us all to meet up, which it was. We had great food and great laughs. Tricia bought me the cutest shirt for my Valentine's gift (which Nat said she picked out) We attempted taking a decent photo of all three of us but it just wasn't happening, these are a few of the what seemed to be 50 Micah took. Keep in mind these were the best of the bunch. Don't ask about the foot one of Trish and I, lets just say we both embrace the fact that we have finger toes, and we used to do this in high school when we would be bored at home. Gross I know.

Dress I made for the tea, and this was the headband I made at the tea.

2 comments:

Jammie said...

It makes this mother's heart swell with pride that you and Micah rely on God and that he is your life. God is good!

Asquare said...

Man I was dirty. I didn't shower for days but it was so worth it seeing everyone I did.