I have had things suddenly change in my life that rocked my world to the core and so I just haven't ever been able to adjust without swimming through a sea of anxiousness and being blinded by the fog of depression that came along with it.
I have talked a lot about change here on my blog. Changes in seasons of life, motherhood and faith.
If you follow me on instagram you have seen over the last few weeks that I have posted pictures of our recent move and settling into our new place.
Of course like any task that involves more than a snack and a few hours with the babes can be quite daunting, but as hard and long as some of the days seemed it was actually quite painless.
Don't get me wrong, there were many of tears shed over leaving this house. We didn't even own this house but a huge part of our story was written while living within the walls of the house on Country Lane.
The day we found out we were officially moving I knew Micah could sense every bit of emotion I had welling up inside me and said "our lives forever changed while in this house"
And that is exactly what it was.
Of course came the regular bittersweet memories of change, like having Vernon the day we moved into that house, or learning how to plant our first vegetable garden and the tears and hard work produced from that, or watching my babies learn to swim in the pool there and the sob fest list goes on and on and on...
However those aren't the things that changed us.
God changed us.
He did a mighty work on me, my heart, our lives and molded us into something completely new, all while living there.
Those walls that I heard the cries of both my sweet babies through for many different seasons of their toddler and infant stages.
Are the same walls I screamed at, threw pillows at, slid my backside down dropping to the floor and leaning against to weep on.
It was within those walls where my life forever changed. Micah was right about that.
That is the best way for me to explain how those walls hold a deeper meaning for us. Why even though we are excited for the next chapter, there were so many tears shed over moving from this place we called home for only a few short years.
I feel God is still editing and working on the final draft of that closed chapter and so I'm not ready or willing to share all the details but I know I am different. I know what I do and do not want to be. I know I'm still striving to become a woman after God's own heart but I also know I fail...daily.
Thank God for His never ending outpour of grace and mercy.
This move was my first experience since childhood that I didn't let a sudden change affect me the way it had in the past.
That is totally by the Grace of God.
I'm more confident in Him and know He has all the kinks worked out and though this is not where I thought we would end up, I do know it's very temporary and am excited to see what is next.
It was only a fews days ago we were there crying over all the fruit trees I would miss and then Just.Like.That we are here in our new home, making new memories and earnestly seeking for God's will and direction for our lives.
Because I see so much of myself in Elsie and understanding she has a sensitive soul I try to be mindful of things she is feeling or expressing. So when she asked to say goodbye to our old home I didn't hesitate to make our way back for a final farewell.
I had only intended to run over there real quick with Elsie and Vernon and asked my girlfriend to come snap some pictures of us walking around the old place, but the second Micah knew we were heading that way he met us there after work which made these moments captured so much more special with all of us in them.
These will definitely be treasured and hope you enjoy.
The flower headbands Elsie and I are wearing were gifted to us by my dear friend Ginny of Chasing Sunshine. They came in the mail the day before we moved and brought tears to my eyes the moment I opened them. Such a sweet and special gift for us and was so happy to have them for this occasion.