Our life lately has been full.
Full of changes + emotion.
It seems since the time I was able to come up to catch my breath from my sweet baby boy turning two, I turn around to be slapped by a wave of realization that my Elsie Pearl will be four in less than a week.
Besides the normal heavy heart hitters like our littles aging so quickly and one of those littles taking scissors to her own hair and giving herself "princess bangs" which instantly changed the look of her sweet baby face to a big girl face in a matter of seconds, I have lots of things brewing in this tear drop soup of mine.
I haven't been on here much, sharing my heart or news of what's going on in our lives because everyday I'm flooded with new emotions whether good or sad and I feel like some are heavy hearted and lots of it is just happy.
And even with the happy heart stuff, I'm still processing it all for myself and so every time I sit to write or share I feel numb, or empty or just a feeling I can't explain because I'm in this season of waiting on the Lord and so there isn't anything finished to share.
Like there seem to be so many different things in the works and it's too early to share or I have no idea what God is doing with another matter and so there isn't anything for me to share. So I've taken a step back from everything and have been trying to be more intentional with my time spent with my Lord and my family.
Less time blogging, stitching, emails, social media...everything.
I'm happy oh so happy. I'm also overwhelmed some days and even sad on others.
So I've been journaling more. About the happy bits I'm treasuring or the hard days I'm struggling with. About the heavy heart stuff, and praying for God to just work it out.
Journaling about where we are right now in this season and how uncomfortable I am with the changes in the works. Looking for a new place to live has been emotional and though our hearts are desiring to live with less, the act of actually selling our things and downsizing our house makes me a little queasy. But then other days I'm excited and shouting "let's just sell it all and move into a one bedroom by the beach and just live simply"
Remember when I spoke of how I felt my word for 2013 was "wait".
That has proven to be the word the Lord is having me work on. To wait on Him is hard to do at times. The unknown of what the future holds and what the next initial step should be for us to take to get there can be overwhelming some days.
Then there are the days I pray fervently and cast all things worrisome or ugly onto Him and I feel lighter and strengthened and remember that He is in the end result no matter what.
I need everyday to be like that. I'm working on it.
I'm reading through a book gifted to me recently titled "The power of a Praying parent" and boy I tell you that has shifted something inside of me.
Not just about praying for my children but how I pray in general.
As I picked it up to read, eyes heavy laden and ready for bed one night I read this quote that woke me up. Physically and spiritually.
"Prayer is much more than just giving a list of desires to God, as if He were the great Sugar Daddy/Santa Claus in the sky. Prayer is acknowledging and experiencing the presence of God and inviting His presence into our lives and circumstances, It's seeking the presence of God and releasing the power of God which gives us the means to overcome any problem."
Umm can I get an Amen.
Such a reminder of how comfortable I can get even in my prayer life that I can easily forget when I'm praying and asking Him to help me with whatever, I sometimes don't acknowledge His presence nor invite Him all the way into a particular circumstance because I cling more to the fear of the unknown rather than Trust in a God I do know.
So as I've felt more free in His truths and promises lately as I strengthen my prayer life I have also been reflecting on events or circumstances from the past and how God saw us through all of it. Remembering how He tucked us under His wings of mercy throughout the whole storm, each and every time.
So even though this is not a storm per say that we are going through it is definitely a time of trusting, waiting and clinging to His promises.
All of that to say, that for those of you with sweet emails asking if I'm okay and for dear friends and fam checking in on the regular.
Our God is Great.
And our life lately has been blessed.