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the poo hit the fan

As I've mentioned in a previous posts, Vernon has been abducted by the Molar Invaders and has more of those suckers coming in than he can count on one of his chubby little hands.

So when I laid him down for his nap after swim class, he fussed and cried. Which is par for the course lately as he is struggling with his new teeth. I was trying to nap with Elsie and thought he'd eventually settle in (as he ALWAYS does) but he didn't. He started screaming... LOUDLY!
So I hustled my bum in there and right when I opened the door my nostrils were filled with the scent of diarrhea!
Oh no  I thought, he went numero dos and I was trying to make him fall asleep... wait a minute.


I hadn't switched on his light because I was just going to scrounge around for his paci and pat him to sleep so I wasn't sure if what I was seeing was correct. I flicked on the light and sure enough he is holding his poo filled diaper and there is poo and pee all over his mattress.

"Oh bubsy", I said as I picked him up and put him on the changing table, when there, staring right back at me was my sreaming child with poop smeared all over his face, hands, feet, legs, hair (did I say teeth?) teeth, ears ... OH MY GAWD I'm so dying right now.
I run into the bathroom holding him out far enough away from me like he was last months garbage and I start the bath water. I grab a rag and as I'm gagging I'm also cleaning and as he is screaming he is also trying to touch every toy in the tub with his poo infested hands.

I was freaking out.
How did this happen?

He was only crying for like five minutes, how did he manage to tear off his diaper and smear it all over his body and his mattress... oh yeah, the mattress. I forgot that even though he is cleaned up and sterilized I have to do the same with his crib.
I drain the water and let him play with the bath toys as I cover my hands and arms with dish gloves and brace myself as I enter back into his bedroom.

Because it all happened so fast I hadn't taken a good look at the damage. And boy was there damage. Poo smeared all over his wall, over every inch and bar of the front part of his crib, the bumper (oh the bumper) was just a disaster and I swear I could literally see pieces of it on the fan.

I went to grab the camera when I realized I don't want to have pictures to document this mess but the memory of it written down will do just fine.

Elsie never took off her diaper. She never did 90% of the things Vernon comes up with. And though I know they are two completely different babies, Vernon is always keeping me on my toes and never ceases to shake things up around here.
But seriously bubs, I could've lived without this event.

12 comments: said...

Oh. My. Goodness. His TEETH?! I don't think I would recover from that. I know when mine was a baby we got some on her hands and some really nasty blow outs that made me freak out, but if I saw some in her MOUTH?? I am so so very sorry for your pain. At least he's none the worse for wear! I hope you don't have nightmares! :-) said...

Oh. My. Goodness. His TEETH?! I don't think I would have recovered from that. When mine was a baby she got some on her hands and had some pretty nasty blow outs that freaked me out but if saw anything in her MOUTH? I am so very sorry for your pain. But at least he's none the worse for wear! :-)

vintage grey said...

Oh my goodness! So sorry for this, but hopefully you can laugh about it now! ;) What a mess, and a story to have! xo Heather

Ali said...

Hahaha oh no!! He initiated you into the mom of boys club ;) All of my boys have done this and some of them more than once!!! It's the worst and the craziest scene to encounter I know. What is it with boys and poop?! I My Josiah was the worst. We finally made what we called a "poop suit" for him. We cut the arms and legs off footy pjs, since we were in so cal at the time, and zipped him up and buttoned the top so he couldn't undo himself and rip his poopy diaper off when he slept! It worked too. Hah! Hope you recover from the craziness soon!

The Ward Family said...

I know that wasn't funny to you but the way you described it was so funny. I was just picturing you holding your breath and your facial expression. Oh the things we experience as mother! Hope he doesn't do that again!

Samantha Jo said...

Oh goodness! My niece has a tendency to do this with her diapers too. She's done it a couple times now, and she has to sleep in onesies even though she's over 2 years old so she can't get to it! Hope you get the mess cleaned up and it doesn't happen again!

Sugar Mama Bakeshop said...

Oh noooo! That's so awful!! Lily is having the hardest time with molars right now too... Let's pray she doesn't take it out like this :)

No(dot dot)el said...

Oh Momma... you poor thing. Both of you. I think every mom is a veteran of this kind of story in one way, shape or another. Still, this brought me right back and I may have gagged a lil. So sorry for ya both! Sounds like you survived, and thank GOD for clean water and Johnson and Johnson's baby bath soap smell ;)
Oh and yeah there are just some things that should not be documented with photo, so good call on that one wink wink!!

Karen Williamson said...

It will be amazing when you can pull this post out for his 21st Birthday and just embarrass him!! We have yet to experience the ripping of the nappy (diaper) off, but I am sure it won't be long, I guess you just have to laugh and move on haha!

Cassie @ Live.Laugh.L0ve. said...

Oh no!! Haha! I really shouldn't be laughing because that is awful, but it's kind of funny reading!! I am so sorry you had to deal with that!

Lauren @ Pink on the Cheek said...

HOLY POOP BATMAN!!! I babysat for this lovely child once. I went into his room in the morning to wake him up and he was already awake. I said Good Morning! He then had already taken off his diaper.Pulled his pants back up to trick me, and then threw the diaper at me. It was only filled with pee, but STILLLLLLL. I was horrified.

Sweet Tea said...

You are now in the poo club. I will not say which child did it for fear they will mortified when they get older. But oh yea it happened.