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determined to be hopeful NOT hopeless

I had hoped to post about last weeks happenings. But you know, life happened and was unable to do so.
I had hoped to post about Micah's birthday and our Disneyland Afterhours adventure. 
I had hoped to post about my little brother Greggy flying in from Michigan to surprise the family. I had hoped to pick him up from the airport as planned but not only did the morning turn into a complete mess but my car wouldn't start and I no longer took part in the surprise.
I had hoped to attend church service this past Sunday. My Poor teething baby. Vernon's schedule was off and I stayed back to watch it via web. Again. For the third week in a row.
I had hoped for Vernon's nine month check up to go well but instead I left in tears because of the feelings brought on by the realization that he is behind on quite a few "skills" according to the nine month questionnaire
I wish I could say it didn't get to me, and that I know all babies develop differently, but it did. Greatly. and my heart was heavier because of it.
I had hoped that Elsie would be handling her big girl bed as beautifully as she did the first couple weeks, but she isn't. She is getting up multiple times during the night, and we are not used to this kind of thing from her.
I wish I could say I handled these long nights graciously with patience, but I haven't. 

I had hoped that the Gingerbread Latte I ordered, after waiting in a twelve minute drive thru line with screaming babies in the back seat, was what I would receive. Instead I gulped a nasty swig of Egg Nog latte. This discovery wasn't made until I was well on my way home.
I wish my babies (even with all the teething & not staying in bed phases) would stay this little forever.
I hope that I will live closer to my friends again someday.

I hope to learn to pray without ceasing. 

I hope to one day be a more virtuous woman. I am trying.
I had hoped that by my age I could take hold of my emotions rather then wear them on both sleeves.

I hope you all have a very Happy Thanksgiving!
and make wonderful memories with your loved ones.
I also hope you don't have a mister like this lurking around to devour your Thanksgiving Ham. If you have no idea what that is in reference to read Micah's post about that year here. 
I hope you will all take the time to listen to this and be as blessed as I am every. single. time 
I listen to it. 
Psalms 31:24 "Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the Lord."



9 comments:

Ali said...

oh man! i have the same moments all the time. Thanks for being so honest. I'm right there with you! Sunday is definitely behind too in development. I had the worst gingerbread latte ever after driving thru for a sweet moment after a long outing with kids. Elliot is two and still teething. He screams a lot and wakes up a lot. My older two still wake up too early and wet the bed hahaha it goes on and on...

i love the song!! thanks!

jennifer said...

The faces in this post are killing me! Literally like Micah needs to shave that mess off his face. :) The other two are killing me with their sweetness. Remember...this too shall pass. The bed thing I believe is a phase. So far my two oldest BOTH went through it. Micah won't..mostly because he will be in a crib until he is like 10. Vernon is perfect in every way. Love him without worrying about those milestones because well because who makes up those questionnaires anyway. Right!? Love you. Also I am a little surprised that Don made it to this year after his debacle last year :)

Samantha Schroeder said...

Nat, Just a little note to say what an amazing wife, mom, and friend you are! Sometimes we have to let go of the things we can't control. {and that is easier said than done} I know that you enjoy every moment because as we both know this too shall pass! Thank you sharing your ups and downs because many of us now feel less alone . . . Happy Thanksgiving to you and your beautiful family! Miss you! xo Sam

molly june. said...

LOVE this. and love you. i'm sorry you're going through a rough patch, but it's neat to see where your heart is turning...HE is making you stronger IN HIM day by day.

and gosh dangit those family pictures are BOMB! :)

love you! i'll email you about coming out! next wk maybe? yesh? mmkay, happy thanksgiving! keep the dog off the HAM! hahaaa.

TexasNeals said...

I feel weird commenting on this b/c I don't know you, but I feel like I know your spirit. You are such a fun and happy person that loves your family like nobody's business!!!! I am inspired and encouraged by your blog all the time. Your ability to be transparent is such a blessing and I can tell that you KNOW that God gives strength through weakness. You are really an amazing mom :) Keep turning to Him and you'll get through this.

Bird said...

Such a lovely post. Oh, and your hair is AMA-ZING!

the world so sweet said...

Love this post!
found you through sugar and dots link up.
so glad I did!

the world so sweet said...

Hi there... Love this post.
stopping by from sugar and dots link up.
Your blog looks amazing.

Kendra said...

I Love disneyland during christmas time! And your family is gorgeous. Glad I found you through the link up! newest follower!