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one day at a time...

I did it. I made it through my first day as a momma of two without Micah. The dreaded day fell upon me without warning and I was so overwhelmed yesterday with the idea of managing these two little beings on my own and about lost it. I mean Micah had left a few times and did a half day here and there at work since we had Vernon but today was my first official full day. I even ventured out to Target with both of them to get necessary items. It's not that this is an impossible task, I mean women do this all the time, no biggy I get it. It's just that between Elsie not understanding her new world, our new house not being put away and me being a hormonal wreck I felt it insurmountable for me to go it alone. Micah had basically taken over with Elsie and she grew comfortable with not needing me, I was just really nervous on how today would go because of that. I'm happy to report there were, no meltdowns, screaming or time outs and as far as the kids go, they were great.
This has been harder for me than expected and that's because this wasn't expected. I wasn't expecting Vernon a month early. I wasn't expecting to be living out of boxes this long. I wasn't expecting Elsie to have such a hard time with a new baby in the picture. I definitely wasn't expecting all the emotions that have come with this postpartum that I didn't experience with Elsie's. This is just, well, a lot harder than I thought. That is hard for me to admit because I like to think I have it all together and can handle, ummm everything but I am not handling all this newness very well.
All that being said I am extremely happy. I love my little man, he is so precious! I love my new home, though a wreck, feels like home. I love Elsie wanting to sit with me, cuddle with me, play pretend Tea Time with me, even at those moments when it breaks my heart that I can't because of nursing. I love Micah more than ever because he is so supportive, such a good daddy, and has made me laugh through all the tears these past two weeks.
TWO WEEKS! Can you believe it? Vernon is already two weeks old. Where did the time go? I feel like I just had him yesterday. I really just need to get into my groove and figure out my own schedule with the two kiddos vs. one. And once that happens I know I will feel less like this person and more like the old Nat. Plus I will be able to get back on my blog schedule, which I would apologize for not blogging but feel I have a free pass considering my circumstance. Ha-Ha!
Until then, here are a few pics to enjoy.
                            She is getting better but this basically sums up the first week 

We wanted to do something for Elsie to make her feel special so Saturday night Micah had a great idea after her nap to all get in our pajamas, order Chinese Food and watch for the first time Toy Story 3. We got her candy and made sure to have special snacks. She absolutely loved it and actually watched the whole thing with us! We will make this a monthly tradition.

I just realized I need to start taking way more pictures! Yikes. 

8 comments:

jennifer said...

Yeah! You made it :) Knew you would. Glad you are alive.

shannon said...

I can't believe you decided to watch TS3 NOW! I bawled like a baby and I didn't have any postpartum hormones! Also, that pictures of V in the blanket? So. Cute.

The Ward Family said...

This post actually brought a tear to my eye because it brought everything back that I experienced just 7 months ago. You are absolutely right, once that schedule with 2 is figured out everything falls into place. We were living in boxes too when Carter came along so I can relate. Good for you for going to Target. I was chicken for about a month. :) Thinking of u during this time. It's so wonderful. . but hard.

molly june. said...

you can do it, mama! (& it looks like you just DID! WOO!) this post was kind of emotional for me too cause i remember those feelings all too well. everyone just expects you to do it w a smile, but sometimes it feels good to chuck a perfectly good shoe at the wall..err, ball your eyes out at a stupid commercial on tv ;) i pray God gives you just the amount of patience & grace needed to make it through these new days with TWO! love you! xoxox

prudence said...

YAY for you having your first day alone! I totally remember my first day with two of them also... I know you probably are not looking for advice, but maybe something I say will help..
I got one of those slings for my 2nd. That helped me be close to both kiddos at once. I could play with one while holding the other. Also for my older one, I gave her "fun" jobs to help with the baby, that way she felt more involved and not left out. I think think the older ones are afraid of loosing your affection, love, attention, security, and that takes some time. It will happen, I just had to make sure I somehow MADE time to make my oldest feel special, sometimes I still have to do that! Good luck, you have such a beautiful family!

Asquare said...

no free passes. get blogging.

TexasNeals said...

i'm sure you're doing great and getting adjusted but i wanted to go ahead and offer a little encouragement anyway ;) give yourself time. it is a BIG adjustment adding another little one to your family...especially number 2. it's hard on sweet only but they come around. try not to get discouraged w/ her lack of interest or her wanting him to be gone. suzannah actually SAID she wanted molly beth back in my tummy forever. i felt so guilty for turning her world upside down and missed my sweet girl that was so easy up until then. remind yourself that she will be so blessed by having a little brother! she just needs time!
i know you probably already know all of this, but i still needed to be reminded of it when adding #4! ha! i'm a slow learner. so give yourself grace and time. soak in these newborn days and don't let all the temporary things rob you! you are doing GREAT! and there will come a day (though it may take a couple of months) where you are back to yourself and things settle into a routine again. elsie will WANT to hold vernon and be so proud to show him off as HER baby brother. i promise :)

i must confess....i LOVED that picture of her "holding" him. it was just perfect! too cute. ;)

Lauren said...

Love your blog! So sweet!
Feel free to check mine out also @: www.howiputthingsoff.blogspot.com