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preggo ramblings

As we check off yet another week upon Vernon's arrival I realize there are quite a few things I miss pre-pregnancy. With Elsie's pregnancy I never had any issues with wanting things I could not have. I remember not ever wanting coffee, wine or seafood. I don't remember feeling uncomfortable with my body and wishing I had ankles (because I never lost them) In fact I remember being so small that I wanted a belly so bad, and it never got to the size I had hoped. Before getting pregnant I remember fantasizing about having a big preggo belly I could use as a table to eat a bowl of ice cream off of, silly I know but that was my desire.
Unfortunately things are completely different with Vernon. My body desires caffeine everyday, don't drink it, but I do get myself a little decaf treat every now and then. Wine with dark chocolate sounds good...all the time. Seafood looks divine as plates pass me at restaurants and I want to trip the server as he goes by so the other guests can't partake either.
I hate my body, I feel taken over, completely helpless to its new form and I constantly want to make myself look smaller than I am.
I look forward to walking in a straight upright position without the assistance of my belly brace. Yesterday I had to wear it from the moment I woke just to brush my teeth.
My attitude, I miss the old me.
The thing I want most though despite all these "inconveniences" are the previous months of this pregnancy and to go it again. I feel in those months so much had happened not only with the pregnancy but with my family as well that I lost sight of this precious gift God has blessed me with. I love him so much and wish I had been journaling the pregnancy as I did with Elsie's. There are so many regrets and "I wish I..." moments that I can only forge ahead with the zeal I have now and enjoy these last few weeks that lie ahead.
On a semi-different note: Micah's office had a sushi learning course yesterday (don't ask) and look what he made for me. A special pregnancy California Roll. I literally devoured this sucker in less than five minutes. It was so amazingly yummy that I've deemed him master chef of the house. He doesn't know that yet but I'll break it to him later.

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