I was hoping to write this post filled with pictures from a certain night away I had originally planned on surprising Micah with. I had wanted to snap pictures of the secret loves notes I had been scheming on tucking away in his luggages through out this months travels but mostly I wanted one big sappy post about all the lovey-dovey things I tried to incorporate more of into our marriage this month but realized some where around the second week into February, life is messy and you kind of have to clean up the messes as you go and have a grace filled attitude if you desire to still enjoy the party.
Instead of little love notes hidden throughout his luggage, I spilled my guts out in one long letter to him that he read mid-flight one of his trips. I shared with him how I longed to be a better wife and mama. How things are crazy in our lives right now but also so good and how I'm anxious about our upcoming move. I basically let my heart bleed out onto pages when all I wanted to do was let him know I loved him, deeply and madly.
We don't have a sitter plus funds are tight as we budget for an across the country move and other things on the near horizon for us, so planning a extended night away like I planned just fizzled away. We did however take advantage of the fact my little brother started coming to stay two nights a week so he could beat traffic for his mid week classes at college in the morning. So one of those nights we snuck out to our fave local little pub and wrote about our love story together. We laughed and to be honest even cried a bit. We reminisced and marveled at what God has done and is continuing to do in our lives and especially n our marriage.
It was there, that night at a simple local pub, only minutes from our house that I realized just getting out to have some meaningful quality time was all that he needed.
It's funny because my love language is quality time, not his but I think filling up my love bank enabled me to love him better.
I felt more connected throughout the month and made sure to tell him any chance I had that I loved him.
Then just this week something miraculous happened and we were both able to attend a late night show together. It was actually the band he was originally in. The band that moved him all the way out here to sunny Southern California and well it was just a fantastic night to sneak out together while the babes slept. We laughed so much with together. Then, for old sake, we stopped at In & Out at one in the morning to get our shake and animal style fry goodness on. If you have no idea what I'm referring to, trust me this late night snack is so dang good and so worth the aftermath of not being 21 nor being able to eat whatever we want!
All in all in my efforts to love him better I was convicted of how much I have going on all the time which helped motivate me to cut out things I want to do to make time for things I should do. That sounds bad but in the end the things I should be doing actually end up being the things I like doing. Cleaning up the house, making sure the kitchen is tidy after I cook, putting my phone away while we're together, telling him less of my day to day mom problems and taking those things to the Lord… the list goes on. Taking care of things that aren't necessarily on the top of my list are things which help make Micah feel like he is. That is the beauty of almost eleven years of growing together, it's finding there is still always room to cut out more of ourselves to make room for the other.
I read this quote on someone else's instagram feed and I just loved it. I want to strive for that steady wish to push Micah to be the best he can be by loving him well.
Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained." -C. S. Lewis