"It's Probably your last"

This is in reference to my pregnancy. My dearest Shan said that to me today. Well, emailed it anyway, which is like saying it to my face. I had said something about feeling so very pregnant and not in a good way and she reminded me that though this pregnancy has been rough I should bask in it considering it is most likely my last.

Those words struck me like lightning and I have been pondering them throughout the day. I realized I haven't had this warm fuzzy connection with Vernon as I did with Elsie's pregnancy. Is it because Elsie's pregnancy was my first and everything was new and exciting, or because her pregnancy was perfect and I loved every moment of it? Could it be because Elsie is a 21 month old toddler steering the reins on my life at the moment and I haven't had a second to delight in this little miracle inside me. Considering all that has happened during this pregnancy he is just that, our little miracle baby. Micah refers to him as that because of all Vernon and I have endured during that past few months and yet he is still growing strong.

It saddens me beyond measure that I haven't journaled this pregnancy as I did the other nor have I enjoyed much of it. I am choosing from this point on to try and relish the last few months I have left with this little Mr. growing inside of me. I will enjoy his intense kicking and know that feeling him means that he is well. I will try to capture the rest of my growth on film and journal the moments that I will soon forget after he comes into the world.

After recognizing my frame of mind I was immediately inclined to photograph something in reference to Vernon. I wanted to take some pictures of my bump, seeing as how I will be six months next week and don't have many pictures to show for it. Unfortunately, Micah flew out to Maryland this morning on business (more on that in another post) and so these are my own attempts of capturing this moment of today. I pulled these shoes and flat cap out that I had purchased over a year ago as a gift but just couldn't part with because I knew I wanted them for my future son. Here we are, pregnant with our son and can finally look forward to him wearing them.

Jerimiah 1:5 "Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you..."