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"It's Probably your last"

This is in reference to my pregnancy. My dearest Shan said that to me today. Well, emailed it anyway, which is like saying it to my face. I had said something about feeling so very pregnant and not in a good way and she reminded me that though this pregnancy has been rough I should bask in it considering it is most likely my last.
Those words struck me like lightning and I have been pondering them throughout the day. I realized I haven't had this warm fuzzy connection with Vernon as I did with Elsie's pregnancy. Is it because Elsie's pregnancy was my first and everything was new and exciting, or because her pregnancy was perfect and I loved every moment of it? Could it be because Elsie is a 21 month old toddler steering the reins on my life at the moment and I haven't had a second to delight in this little miracle inside me. Considering all that has happened during this pregnancy he is just that, our little miracle baby. Micah refers to him as that because of all Vernon and I have endured during that past few months and yet he is still growing strong.
It saddens me beyond measure that I haven't journaled this pregnancy as I did the other nor have I enjoyed much of it. I am choosing from this point on to try and relish the last few months I have left with this little Mr. growing inside of me. I will enjoy his intense kicking and know that feeling him means that he is well. I will try to capture the rest of my growth on film and journal the moments that I will soon forget after he comes into the world.
After recognizing my frame of mind I was immediately inclined to photograph something in reference to Vernon. I wanted to take some pictures of my bump, seeing as how I will be six months next week and don't have many pictures to show for it. Unfortunately, Micah flew out to Maryland this morning on business (more on that in another post) and so these are my own attempts of capturing this moment of today. I pulled these shoes and flat cap out that I had purchased over a year ago as a gift but just couldn't part with because I knew I wanted them for my future son. Here we are, pregnant with our son and can finally look forward to him wearing them.
Jerimiah 1:5 "Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you..."



7 comments:

shannon said...

So sweet.

Micah Ensor said...

Great photos babe! And yes he is our little miracle boy.

Micah Ensor said...

Yes he is our little miracle boy! Great photos too. You definately do a better job taking photos by yourself than having me do it. Love you, see you soon!

DawnaHartman said...

Love <3...
I always had pictured you and Micah with like 4 kids, so when I read this I was a little surprised. I can't wait to meet little Vernon. It's crazy how far apart we are... Please post more, I enjoy your pictures and words so, so much!

Anonymous said...

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I finally made the decision to post a remark, and let me tell you this is another very powerful post. I’ve been reading through some of your old posts and have been checking out your blog frequently|Hey there, I really like your article.

Kristi and Ken said...

Love the pictures you took! Those shoes are just adorable! Love you and can't wait to see you! Keep those pictures and updates coming - I love to hear how things are going!:)

Jennefer said...

Wow Nat this had me in tears. Love you girly. And the pics are awesome!